Abnormal lives, p.17
Abnormal Lives, page 17
Jason’s voice began to crack. “But Mrs. Jasper—”
“But nothing!” Mrs. Jasper screamed. “Run on home! It’s none of your business!”
“It is my business.”
Mrs. Jasper tried to shut the door. Jason pushed the door open and forced his way inside.
“Child, if you don’t get out of my house, I’ll beat two years off your life.”
Jason stood there, unyielding. “Does Wayne have AIDS?”
Mrs. Jasper gritted her teeth. “What did you say, boy?”
Jason tried to repeat his question. “Does Wayne have—”
Mrs. Jasper slapped Jason on his cheek. “How dare you come in my house and make an accusation like that?”
Jason began to cry. He was getting nowhere with her. He needed to know that his health wasn’t in jeopardy. He’d skipped school and gone to the free clinic as soon as he’d heard about Wayne. But it was taking too long to get his test results and his paranoia had increased every day. All he’d heard around school was that Wayne was sick but no one could tell him what ailed Wayne. He had to know. He was on the verge of losing his sanity.
Mrs. Jasper’s face was the color of blood and her eyes swelled with tears. “Boy, you should be ashamed, coming in here with that nonsense. If you don’t get out of my house right now, I’m calling the police.”
“But you don’t understand.”
Mrs. Jasper huffed. This boy must take me for a joke.
Mrs. Jasper picked up the phone to call the police.
“We had sex,” Jason blurted out.
Mrs. Jasper dropped the phone and grabbed her chest. “What?”
Jason began to cry. “The last time I saw Wayne, we had sex.”
“You stupid, stupid boy,” Mrs. Jasper said. “How could you do such a thing? You probably can barely get yourself ready for school in the morning. What makes you think you’re ready for the consequences of sex; especially the type you’re having.”
Jason tried to speak but he was too shaken for Mrs. Jasper to understand his dialect. Mrs. Jasper made Jason sit on the sofa with her and attempted to calm him down. Jason told Mrs. Jasper how sorry he was. How he and Wayne were playing around and it just happened. Mrs. Jasper rubbed Jason’s back while he wiped his tears. She assured Jason that Wayne did not have AIDS or any STDs. She told him how Wayne had had a break with reality and was in a psychiatric hospital.
Jason expressed his regret about what had happened. He asked Mrs. Jasper to tell Wayne that he wanted to put what happened behind them and be friends again. Mrs. Jasper promised that she would tell Wayne and then sent Jason on his way.
Mrs. Jasper was relieved to know what had caused her son’s condition. Her husband could never find out. She would have to kill him. She refused to let him degrade Wayne for what he had done. She would see her husband dead before she would let him poison Wayne’s mind with his ignorance.
Mrs. Jasper didn’t plan to give Wayne Jason’s message. She wanted to keep Wayne as far away from Jason as possible. They needed to move but she needed her husband to agree to it. She had no money. Her husband was the wage-earner in the family and she took care of their home.
When Mr. Jasper came home that evening, she did everything she could to seduce all of his senses. She fixed her hair and wore his favorite perfume. She fixed his favorite meal for dinner. She didn’t even complain when he sat in front of the TV with the volume turned up as high as it could go, gorging himself with beer.
When they retired to the bedroom, she did things to please him that she had never done for him or any other man. She licked and sucked every crevice on his body. During sex she would usually lie on her back with her legs spread apart while her husband did all of the work. She was forty years old and had never been able to build up the nerve to be in the lead role during sex. She was too timid to be on top, gyrating and bouncing around on her partner while he watched her flesh jiggle. But that night she took charge. She wanted Wayne to be able to start over when he came home. She couldn’t be self-conscious. She needed her husband to agree to move her and Wayne away from there and it would take some persuasion.
After a few nights of her routine, Mrs. Jasper laid in the bed exhausted. Her husband looked over at her tired body and smiled and then pulled her onto his chest. She looked up at him and closed her eyes, trying to build up the nerve to ask.
“What’s wrong?” her husband asked.
Mrs. Jasper swallowed before she answered him. It was the moment she had been waiting for. “I’m thinking about Wayne; that’s all.”
“He’ll be all right,” her husband assured her. “Some girl probably broke his heart.”
“I wish we could move,” Mrs. Jasper said. “You know, to get him away from whatever made him this way.”
Her husband nodded. “Would be nice, but we can’t afford to.”
“Well, haven’t you been saving up? What about your retirement plan; can’t you take a loan from that or something?”
Her husband frowned. I know this bitch didn’t just ask me to withdraw from my retirement. That’s my money, he thought. “Like I said, we can’t afford it.”
“But I think it would be good for Wayne.”
“That’s enough,” her husband snapped. “I don’t want to hear anymore.”
Mrs. Jasper turned around in the bed and sobbed. He is so insensitive, she thought. She felt her husband’s hand on her hip, got out of the bed, and went to Wayne’s room to sleep. If he wouldn’t move them away from there, she would. She could go back to North Carolina to live with her parents. They had plenty of room. Her husband could keep his money and kiss them goodbye.
The next day, Wayne’s mother confronted him during their visit. She told him that she had talked to Jason and he’d told her all about what had happened. Wayne began to cry. That was the first time that Mrs. Jasper had heard a sound out of Wayne in over two months. She promised Wayne that she would not tell his father. She told him that she could move him away from there if he wanted. He could start over and forget about what happened but he had to promise her that he would work on getting better. Wayne nodded his head in agreement.
When Mrs. Jasper left her visit with Wayne, she called her parents. As soon as she got their approval, she began to pack their belongings.
Her husband came home from work and noticed that the closet in his room was half-empty. He confronted his wife and asked her what was going on. Mrs. Jasper explained that she was moving back with her parents and taking Wayne with her.
Her husband laughed. “You’ll never make it,” he said. “You don’t have a job and I damn sure ain’t sending you any money.”
“I can get a job,” Mrs. Jasper said. “And if not, I’m sure I can survive on what you’ll be paying me for child support and alimony.”
Her husband didn’t think she had the nerve to leave him but he realized that she would do almost anything for their son. Since she had already taken action by packing her and Wayne’s belongings, he thought he’d better take action himself. He hurried down to the personnel office at his job to see what needed to be done to withdraw from his retirement.
Wayne stayed to himself at his new school. He went to class and went to the gym and sparred every day as he had done since fifth grade but didn’t utter a word to anyone. He would hear his peers whispering amongst each other, asking if he was mute, saying something was wrong with him. “That boy ain’t right,” they would say. Wayne didn’t entertain their comments. They were foolish to be so hung up on him when they had issues of their own that needed their attention.
It wasn’t until the day Wayne saw his wife, Nicole, that he considered putting an end to his rut and begin socializing. Nicole was new to the school like he was and she always sat in the far right corner of the back of the classroom. Wayne couldn’t help but stare at her. She was beautiful. Wayne loved her smooth brown skin and high cheekbones. Nicole was five-six and weighed about 140 pounds. Wayne blushed when he thought to himself about how Nicole’s butt was composed of fifty pounds and her breasts twenty pounds and the other seventy pounds made up the remainder of her body. She was soft-spoken but no matter how soft she spoke, he heard every word she uttered. Wayne wanted to approach Nicole but he couldn’t build up the nerve. He needed to find a common ground, something they both had in common, to spark up a conversation about.
One afternoon after school, Wayne saw Nicole walking outside to the spot where she waited for her ride. As Nicole walked over to wait, her necklace fell from around her neck.
Wayne picked up Nicole’s necklace and walked over to her. “You dropped this.”
Nicole looked at Wayne and smiled. “Thanks.” Nicole took her necklace and continued to gaze out at the street, waiting for her ride to pull up.
Wayne looked at Nicole’s necklace. “That symbol on your necklace; what does it represent?”
“It represents Scorpio; my Zodiac sign,” Nicole explained.
“Are you a Christian?” Wayne asked.
Nicole shot Wayne an awkward look but didn’t answer him.
Wayne felt himself about to break a sweat. He cleared his throat and tried to keep his composure. “I only asked because, you know, God says that stuff is an abomination.”
Nicole fixated her gaze on Wayne, now more interested in what he had to say than seeing her ride pull up. “What stuff?”
“You know, horoscopes, reading the stars, trying to read rocks and stones, that type of shit.”
“When did God tell you that?”
“He didn’t,” Wayne said. “But it’s written in the Bible.”
“You shouldn’t believe everything you read.”
Wayne became irritated. He regretted starting up a conversation with her. He wanted to walk away but the conversation had gone too far for him to end it at that moment without seeming rude. “Are you calling God a liar?”
Nicole sighed. “The last time I checked, God didn’t write the Bible.”
“But the people who did were dictating the word of God.”
“And people have been known to lie,” Nicole said. “So like I said, don’t believe everything you read.”
“Well, do you believe in God?”
“Obviously not in the same sense you do,” Nicole said.
“So, what if you’re wrong and you keep wearing your symbols?”
Nicole shrugged. “Then I’m wrong?”
“And you’re going to hell,” Wayne muttered.
“I don’t believe in such a place,” Nicole said. “And even if I did, I’d rather spend eternity in hell than with your God that the Bible describes who is just as petty and judgmental as the people we share the earth with.”
“So you don’t believe in God,” Wayne concluded.
“What I believe is God is love and will not cast His children that are a part of Him into a lake of fire to be destroyed.”
Wayne shook his head, disagreeing with Nicole’s comment. “Well, if you don’t live right, that’s what happens.”
“If someone loved you, how could they do that to you?” Nicole asked. “If you did something your mother didn’t like, do you think she would throw you in a lake of fire and destroy your soul if she could?”
Wayne shook his head. “No.”
“So what makes your mother better than God?”
Wayne considered Nicole’s statement. He’d never thought about it that way. If his mother could forgive him for what he had done with Jason, then God would indeed forgive him.
His conversation with Nicole made him appreciate her more. Nicole had given him what no one else could; solace. From that day forward, Wayne had a different view about life. He lived his life to the fullest. He accepted all the blessings God gave him, including Nicole’s hand in marriage. Through the years his profession and infidelity drove them apart. Despite their differences, Wayne always thought of Nicole as his angel. He wouldn’t let her want for anything. Nicole meant more to him than his parents, the kids she had given him, his money, and his life.
Wayne never told Nicole what had happened to him before they’d met and never wanted to have to explain it to her. Nicole was forgiving but Wayne felt she had forgiven him for too much already. He’d never divorce Nicole. He hoped they would work things out in the future. Wayne couldn’t stand the thought of the pain Nicole would feel when their kids came home from school, telling her that the other children had called their daddy gay, a pole smoker, or whatever awful term they would think of to describe him. When he saw Stefan’s oiled body lying across the bed in the hotel room and heard his offer, he had become weak. Now he had to pay for his weakness, but he couldn’t. He had too much to lose.
24
Paris plopped down on his bed and sighed. He was having second thoughts about the pageant. He went to the club where the pageant was going to be held to pick up tickets for Stefan and Simone. He also went to get a look at the other contestants to see what he was up against. There were three that bothered him. They were sitting at a table, not talking to anyone outside of their circle. They began eyeing him the moment he walked in the club, whispering and giggling amongst themselves as they sized him up. The one who eyed him first seemed to be the leader of the three. He was loud and obnoxious. Every obscenity that came out of his mouth was followed by a chuckle from his two cronies along with the phrase: “You ain’t never lied.” They had trouble written all over them. Even if they didn’t cause trouble for him directly, Paris was sure they would cause trouble for the pageant. But they were the least of his worries.
Michael frequented the club and Paris was sure he would be there to check out the pageant and to scout for his next victim. Paris mentioned to Michael that he was thinking about entering the pageant but never told him about his final decision. What if Michael shows up with his new lover? What if Michael shows up with Jewel on his arm? Paris doubted if Jewel would come to the pageant. Jewel knew that he’d entered and after what he had done, Paris would be stunned if Jewel had the guts to be in the same room with him, but as the saying goes, wonders never cease.
Paris knew if his attitude about the pageant didn’t become more positive, he would have to drop out; otherwise, he would be the cause of his own failure.
Paris emerged from the shower and put on his robe. He invoked Isis, lit the white candle on his dresser, and then sat in front of the candle, focusing on the flame. He slowly breathed in and out of his nose. With each breath, his eyes became heavier. The scent from the candle relaxed him.
Paris closed his eyes. “Success is upon me. Blessed is my life; I will not endure pain or strife,” Paris chanted.
In his mind’s eye Paris saw himself surrounded by clouds. The clouds dispersed and he stood naked in a circle. He noticed his anatomy and the restriction he felt being encased in a body that was not of his choosing; a body that wasn’t compatible with what he lusted for. He wanted to be free from his body, free to be what he wanted to be, free to have the visage of his choice. He let his outward breath free him of his negative thoughts. He then envisioned the body of his dreams. A white light shined down on him. He now stood naked inside a wreath, looking down at his body, admiring his curves. He had a thin waist, full breasts, and shapely hips. All the bushy hair that plagued his body was gone. He danced, celebrating his nakedness. He was filled with happiness and it pulsated throughout his body and brought a smile to his face. A rose fell from the wreath, a gift from Isis. Paris grabbed the rose and put it in his hair. A hand reached into the wreath and Paris grabbed it. He was led out of the wreath and stood on stage at the nightclub where he would compete in the pageant. The club was dim but a bright light showcased him. His eyes glistened as a crown was placed on his head and he was handed a bouquet of flowers and the first-place, five-hundred-dollar cash prize. He basked in his success and pictured a ray coming from his third eye, carrying his thoughts out into the world where they would manifest. “So shall it be,” Paris said. “So shall it be.”
Paris stood in front of the mirror, admiring his outfit. No one at the pageant would be wearing anything like it. That was good for him; he strived to be different. In that respect, his outfit not only flattered his body, it also complemented his personality. He doubted that any of the competition had the body or the swagger to pull off such an outfit. If they tried to flaunt the way he did wearing a similar outfit, they would look like an ass; foolish and un-confident. So it was to their benefit that his outfit was an original.
Paris couldn’t believe how nervous he was before. The thought of him not winning was now absurd. He was psyched after his visualization and ready to take on the world.
Paris smiled. “Damn, Simone, I knew you would hook me up, but you’ve really outdone yourself this time.”
Simone shrugged. “Yeah, don’t mention it.”
“Damn, what’s wrong with you?” Paris asked.
“Don’t pay her any mind. She has her own issues,” Stefan joked. “Maybe it’s moon time; who knows.”
Simone sucked her teeth. Why is it taking Wayne so long to call me? She knew the package had been delivered. She began to think that maybe the address she had gotten from her online search was bogus. She hoped no one had signed for the package and viewed the DVD before Wayne did, and had taken it to the tabloids. If that happened, her power over him was nonexistent. She wished that Wayne would call her. She needed to know where she stood in the scheme of things. She needed confirmation that she had the upper hand.
Stefan looked at Paris, who was studying himself in the mirror and playing with his hair. Paris was trying to get some idea about how he would wear his hair for the pageant.
Stefan looked Paris up and down and then nudged Simone so she could observe Paris. “Don’t get up in there tomorrow with your outfit and your hair pinned up and act like you don’t know us.”
Paris laughed. “I wouldn’t do anything like that. I might be one of the finest things down here in Virginia, but I’ll never be too fly for y’all bitches.”
Simone sucked her teeth. “That’s bullshit. Let this nigga get his hands on a million dollars today or tomorrow. Shit, let him get a half-million dollars; he’ll forget all about our asses.”
