Irrevocable, p.10
Irrevocable, page 10
“K—M.... Master.” I stuttered out managing to not let his name slip out.
He opened the door and revealed a room equipped with a medical-looking bed, and implements from whips and chains to shelves full of butt plugs and dildos covered every wall.
“No.” I whispered.
“Once again, you missed the lecture about choice.”
“Fine, but you don’t want this either.” Anxiety took over. Anything was better than this. Better than the things he was going to make me feel when my body betrayed my mind. “You don’t want me.”
“Does that hurt your feelings?”
I despised that he was only playing my master because of some duty—and because of that he had to force himself to touch me. A criminal who lived in a sex den had to force himself to touch me. And even worse, he got me off while doing it.
I glanced to the window above. “Can they hear us?”
“Doubt it.” He lifted me to the bed and removed the chain from my collar. “The rooms are soundproofed, but there’s a mic. It doesn’t look like it’s turned on.” His jaw was clenched as he moved away to drop the leash on a nearby counter.
“Am I infuriating you?”
“Yes,” he glared at me, but kept his body relaxed, as if he didn’t want anyone to notice our argument. “Take off your top.”
If I pushed him hard enough, I hoped I could avoid the whole, enjoyment part of the issue. As stupid as the idea sounded, I preferred when he acted like the asshole criminal. He was easier to hate, and easier to understand. “No.”
“Damn it, Silver,” he growled. “Do you think you’re safer if you disobey down here than if you disobey up there? You’re not. Do as I fucking say, or they’re going to have a damn good time watching me beat your ass. And then, I’ll ask them to get in line for their turn.”
He ripped my top open and pressed me down on the bed with one hand wrapped around my neck. The move was intimidating, but not enough to cut away my air.
“Why is everyone afraid of you?”
The pressure increased. “What is it? You figure if you piss me off. I’ll get it over with? Want nothing to do with you? Or maybe you enjoy the brutality?”
“Fuck you,” I hissed back.
He held me to the table by my throat then reached underneath to pull up a chain with some kind of contraption on the end. Without warning, he took my nipple in his mouth, rolled it with his tongue then pinched it with his teeth.
The pain radiated out, this time there wasn’t an ounce of pleasure behind it. As he moved his head away, he clamped the end of the chain on my nipple and pulled it tight, fastening it over my arm and under the bed. I gritted my teeth to keep from moving, unsure if I could go through with the piss him off and get it over with plan.
He wasn’t intent on getting anything over with.
As he stepped back, I reached to move but he held me there with his glare.
“Not as much fight now,” he taunted with a low voice. “You don’t want to fight a losing battle with me like you did with Gabe?”
“You ass, you know I want to fight.”
“So, now you’re smart enough not to. Yet you continue trying to piss me off. Which means you’d rather it hurt.”
I looked away as he repeated the process on my other nipple. With each breath, they pulled sensitive flesh and I was afraid to move a millimeter in any direction. I looked up trying to see into the room above, wondering how intently they were watching, but the lighting in our room made it hard to see through the glass, and all I got was my own reflection.
Chained. Disheveled.
I didn’t want pain, but somewhere I wanted a reminder of how much I didn’t want to be here. How much I hated them for this. How much I hated myself for this.
“You went quiet for once,” Kirk said.
“And now you’re complaining. Maybe you want me to egg you on to give you an excuse to hurt me.”
“Maybe if I make it painful enough for both of us, you’ll stop.” He smacked my stomach. The impact wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but it made me jump and pull against the nipple clamps. “They’re going to wonder why we’re doing so much talking.”
Kirk stepped back, and looked around the room. Probably wondering how best to torture me in my current position. Suit liked humiliation—and as far as I understood it, I was being trained to please his clients. Unless they were all into torture and doing all the work, that currently left Kirk in an awkward position unless he wanted to show off how utterly useless I was.
And there I was, met with a brick wall again—the source of my overactive mouth. Every time I ran into it.
I could repeat over and over that I wanted Kirk to protect me—and I did. But then I gave him no reason to. Neither he nor I had anything to work with but my stubbornness and ego.
“I get it,” I whispered. My limbs began to shake. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. No more lip and stupid remarks.”
He barely looked at me. “You’re not ready. I don’t know if you can be.”
He walked around the room, grabbing a few things, then returned and dropped them between my legs.
I jerked as he forced my legs apart and the clamps bit into my nipples. He placed something cold in my crotch and it squeezed around my clit. Another part slid inside. It wasn’t too deep, but I had a bad feeling as he secured the device with a strap around each of my hips.
“Pull your legs up.”
I pulled them up to my chest and a lubed finger slid into my ass.
This time I bit back the noise and stared back. I knew what was coming next, and bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep my expression hard. That was probably a bad idea, since I tensed the rest of my body in the process, making the insertion of the plug hurt even more.
I grunted as it finally slipped past the ring of muscle and settled in place. He pulled my legs straight again and strapped them to the edge of the bed, pushing everything up tight inside of me. Then he pressed a button. I expected vibrations between my legs but instead, a buzz engulfed each nipple traveling over my skin like an army of tiny spiders.
I clenched my fists and he laid another strap over my forearms and stomach. “The current will stay at skin level, so you aren't in any danger, but...” he turned it up and I jerked. “ It may not be so pleasant—then again, it may.”
He flipped another button and the device on my clit flittered to life, hitting both my clit and g-spot with intermittent waves of vibration.
I squeezed my eyes closed but felt him lean over me. “Best part,” he whispered. “The remotes work through the glass, so I can go have dinner and enjoy the view.”
“No.”
He raised an eyebrow.
Why the hell did I object? What difference did it make whether he left or stayed?
“No one else will come in.”
“Please,” my body bucked with the sensations. “Don’t leave.”
His gaze traveled over my body, and I felt my skin turn to goosebumps, making the shocks on my nipples hurt more.
“If I stay, you’ll piss me off more, and I’ll do something stupid.”
“No. I promise.”
He slid the remotes into his pocket and didn’t even look back at me as he left me locked in the room.
I squirmed, pressing my legs together, then trying to pull them apart—anything to get a break, but anytime I started getting used to the sensations he changed a setting to throw me off again until I couldn’t fight it anymore. My stomach contracted, hips rocked forward, and I screamed as the first orgasm claimed my body. I spasmed against the restraints; the clamps pulled at my nipples, drawing out my agony.
Then for a moment, it felt like everything lessened. I hoped he’d achieved his goal, but the assault started again—this time joined by the butt plug. Each pushing me closer in a different rhythm. My brain couldn’t compute it.
The next orgasm slammed into me and by the time it was over, I wanted to cry. My muscles continued to quiver long after the wave of pseudo-pleasure wore off.
I wanted out. How long could he keep this up?
I could see shadowed movements above me, but not enough to decipher what was going on. The vibrations against my sensitive clit resumed and I whimpered. There was nothing I could do. There was nowhere to hide.
My focus went blurry and for a while I became nothing except for the convulsions that traveled through me at varying intervals. It seemed like it had been hours when the door opened. I blinked at Kirk’s figure, not sure if he was real.
“Nothing sarcastic or stupid to say now?” he asked.
I shook my head.
He removed the equipment, dried between my legs, and sat me up. Then, he pressed a glass of water to my lips, only giving me a few sips at a time, so I couldn’t drink too fast.
He tilted his head, taking in the sight of me. I felt disheveled and slightly vacant, and imagined I couldn’t look any better.
“Think you can walk?”
My legs shook with exhaustion and I shook my head. “I’ll crawl.”
He wrapped a small blanket around me and lifted me up. I opened my mouth, but he glared, so I thought better than to object.
In his rooms, he ran me a bath and helped me into the tub. After relaxing and scrubbing myself, I pulled a towel around my shoulders and hobbled to the living room.
Kirk shook his head and pulled off the towel, replacing it with my robe then he wrapped the towel around my hair and squeezed out the extra water.
“Your food is on the table. Sit on the couch before you collapse.”
I did as he said; staring at the sandwich for a few moments and hoping that by some miracle it would appear in my lap.
That hope was answered by Kirk, as he sat down next to me and placed it in my hands.
Chapter 8
No Honor Amongst Slaves
I woke up the next morning in Kirk’s bed. I didn’t remember how I got there, or even finishing my sandwich.
My muscles ached and refused to move, but I sat up and dropped my legs over the side of the bed. My robe was hung over the foot board, so I pulled it around me and tested my shaky legs.
For the first time, I had woken up to an apartment that wasn’t filled with the smell of food and my stomach gurgled in protest when I walked into the living room and saw Kirk stretched out on the couch with his phone.
From the look he gave me, I gathered that he’d heard my stomach. “Food should be up in a bit.”
I nodded, but didn’t move from my spot until he turned, taking his feet off the couch and patting the cushion beside him. I curled up in the seat next to him, and picked at my nails. The tips were rough; most of them had broken off.
There was a knock on the door and Kirk rose to answer it. My stomach growled again, expecting food, but I looked up to see Ross.
He walked right into the room and glared down at me. “I assume from last night you haven’t made much progress.”
“It’s barely been three days.” Kirk leaned over the back of the couch, and I felt like a wild animal suddenly trapped between two hunters.
“You’re going easy on her.” Ross stepped back, cocked a finger at me, and pointed to the floor at his feet. I jumped from the couch and sank to my knees in front of him, folding my hands in my lap like Alley had instructed. I stared at Ross’ shiny black shoes, waiting for one of them to shoot off the floor and connect with my skin.
“I believe the point of you having your own girl is so she can finish you off and you don’t have to borrow one.”
“Since when are you possessive. By your logic all of the girls are open to anyone upon request.”
“It’s the principal of it.” Ross leaned over me, wrapping his fingers around my neck and pulling me up to stand on my knees. I twitched when his breath hit my ear and knew there was no way he didn’t feel it. He chuckled then moved his mouth even closer. “I’m going to enjoy you.”
His hand left my neck and he ripped open the front of the robe, and pinched one of my nipples.
I winced and he squeezed harder, whispering in my ear again, “Don’t move or make a sound.”
I clenched my teeth as he stood over me, wrenching my nipple as he continued his conversation with Kirk. “I’m leaving for a few days. You and Miles keep an eye on things and stay away from Gabe.”
Ross let go and I held back the gasp of relief as he patted my cheek, and walked to the door. My eyes stung I watched it close behind him. I stayed frozen in my place while Kirk knelt in front of me and pulled the robe closed. His thumb rubbed my cheek and I realized the tears had fallen over.
I climbed to my feet. “You—after you tied me up down there... you went upstairs to get your rocks off with another girl.”
“She had more effective ways of using her mouth. Why the hell do you care?” Kirk rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Beyond that, why the hell am I arguing with you? Sit down and shut up if you want to eat today.”
Why did I care?
Because if I was useless to him, someone else would make use of me. There was another knock on the door and Kirk swung it open, taking the paper bag and muttering something I couldn’t understand. He returned to the couch and set out the food on the coffee table.
I wanted to say something so badly, but I bit my lip. I couldn’t understand the feelings of betrayal. I didn’t want him to touch me, and I’d done nothing but ask him for help, then tell him off. Nothing I could say or do would make things better.
Or even tolerable.
Kirk didn’t talk to me for the rest of the morning. He went from being semi-amicable when I got up to a silent boil after Ross’ visit.
“Put on some clothes,” Kirk said, snapping his computer closed. “I’m going to drop you off with Miles.”
“Great, at least he’s not moody.”
The slap to my face came so quickly I had to brace myself against the wall. When I righted myself, I didn’t dare say anything or even look at him. I ducked my head and went into the bedroom to pull something out of one of the bags of clothes. I found a crop top and pair of hot shorts, and pulled them on. My cheek smarted, but it was as much the action as the pain that affected me.
He’d pulled my hair, slammed me into walls, and threatened to drown me, but there was something different about the direct hit.
I knelt near my bed and pulled the comb out of the black makeup bag, quickly ran it through my hair, and stood.
“I’m not kidding when I say your attitude is going to get you killed.”
I jumped at the sound of Kirk’s voice. I hadn’t noticed that he was standing in the doorway behind me.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I lowered my head. “Yes, Master.”
“Let’s see how long that lasts.”
I cocked my head. It wasn’t fair that he wanted me to bite my tongue but continually egged me on. Kirk held out his hand, and I reluctantly crossed the expanse between us and dropped my hand into his.
He lifted my chin to look at my stinging cheek. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “I have to get going, so let’s go.”
“Yes, Master.”
He picked up a large laundry bag from beside the dresser and handed it to me. I struggled to hold it up, let alone to drag it down the hallway while keeping up with Kirk.
Miles opened the door and ushered me inside, closing the door to leave me and Alley alone in the apartment. I dropped the laundry bag and stared at the closed door.
“You okay?” Alley asked, touching my arm.
I leaned my back to the wall next to the door to face her. “I’m sore, and... beyond that I’m not sure.” I thought to ask her who Kirk had “borrowed,” but that would have simply reaffirmed my desire to care. “Miles doesn’t seem happy.”
“He doesn’t think you’re ready.”
That sounded familiar.
I blinked, squeezing my arms around myself. My nipple still hurt from Ross’ not-so-subtle reminder that he could do what he wanted and I had nothing to say about it. I slid down the wall and dragged my fingers through my hair. Alley crouched next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders. “Why does everyone seem to think it’s so easy? After twenty-three years, being me isn’t an easy habit to break.”
Alley drew up her shoulders and shook her head. I felt like I was quickly burning the only bridges I had in this world, but she blew out her breath and sat down next to me. “I get it, darlin’. It’s overwhelming.”
“And confusing. I don’t want to lose myself. That’s exactly what will happen if I give in and do what they want.”
“Or maybe you’ll find a part of you that you didn’t know existed.”
“The part that enjoys this?” I asked dryly.
“The part that proves you’re stronger and more flexible than you think you are.”
My head thudded against the wall as I dropped it back. I wasn’t done holding onto freedom, which meant I was going to keep pissing people off.
Eventually, it’d be the wrong person.
If I latched on to Alley’s idea, I had to admit defeat. I could either try to be what Kirk wanted, and take orders, or hold on to the hope that I’d get out of this place. As long as I was torn between the two, the confusion would never end.
“I can’t just turn it off.”
“You’re just afraid of what will happen when you do. There’s already no going back.”
The door opened and Miles waved his hand for us to come out of the apartment. Alley and I each grabbed our bags of laundry and followed the men to the elevator.
Neither of them said a word to us. Kirk pressed “7”, but as soon as the elevator stopped again, he grabbed my arm and nodded for Alley to leave first.
“Remember what I told you? You get in trouble and she shares the responsibility.”
“Yes, Master.” I glanced past him to Miles. I definitely didn’t want to piss them both off at the same time. Having already experienced the two of them working together to torment me in the hallway, I couldn’t imagine what they’d do for a serious punishment. I wasn’t sure that would be survivable.
